


Morning Routine

by Malana



Category: Thick of It (UK)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-22
Updated: 2012-03-22
Packaged: 2017-11-02 09:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/367323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malana/pseuds/Malana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even first thing in the morning, Jamie causes trouble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Morning Routine

*bzzzzzzz* 

*bzzzzzzz*

Jamie pawed blindly at the nightstand, grabbing the buzzing phone and squinting at the display, eyes blurry with sleep. He let out a sigh and rolled over to face the sleeping figure next to him.

“It’s your’s,” he said, holding the phone out. When he didn’t get a response, he jabbed his partner in the side. ”Your phone, love.”

All he got in response was a groan and his hand swatted away.

Not one to easily discouraged, he went from jabbing to shaking. 

“It’s Malcolm.”

That got the reaction he wanted.

“Shit,” Sam swore, as she sat up and finally took the phone from Jamie’s hand. ”Not one word,” she warned him before accepting the call.

“Malcolm?” she answered, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She stood and, much to Jamie’s disappointment, took the sheet with her, wrapping it around herself. 

He watched silently as Sam ran a hand through her hair and began pacing the room. It was always slightly annoying to only hear one side of a conversation, but if it were anything really important he’d be hearing about it soon. Both from Sam and, he was sure, from Malcolm. 

“I don’t have it with me, Malcolm…..No….No…It’s on my laptop…Well, that’s in my flat—” 

Jamie saw Sam’s eyes grow wide, as she silently and repeatedly mouthed the word “shit”. 

“No,” she continued, somewhat desperately, “No, I’m not in my flat.” 

Jamie nearly laughed at the expression on Sam’s face, as she rubbed at her temples. God, now he really wished he was hearing the other side of this conversation.

“That’s none of your business, Malcolm.” Sam glared at Jamie, grabbing a pillow off of the bed and throwing it at him. ”Is it someone you know?” she she repeated.

She raised an eyebrow Jamie’s direction and he frantically waved his hands, mouthing ‘don’t you dare’ at her.

Sam rolled her eyes and turned her back on him. “Malcolm, I’m not talking about my sex life with you, okay? I’ll call you when I’m back at my place and can give you the figures.”

“Fuck.” She said as she neded the call and tossed her phone down on the bureau. 

“Well done, love,” Jamie said sarcastically.

“Shut up,” Sam replied as she began to search the room for the clothes Jamie had torn off her her the night before. 

“You know he’s not going to let this go anytime soon, right” Jamie asked as he stood and stretched. He spotted her shirt on the floor and tossed it in her direction as he made his way to the bathroom. ”Join me for a shower?” he asked over his shoulder,

“No time, I’m sure Malcolm will be ringing you any minute now.”

Jamie didn’t even have time to take the cap off the toothpaste before Sam’s words proved to be true. 

“For fuck’s sake, Malc,” he said when he answered, “the sun isn’t even up yet.”  
“It’s all hands on deck, mate. Nicola Murry and her amazing power to fuck things up strike again. 

Jamie rolled his eyes. What the hell what is about DoSAC that attracted all the morons? “Do you want me at Number 10 doing damage control or do you want me at DoSAC administering a bollocking?

“Damage control,” Malcolm said after a moment. ”I can handle the bollocking myself. Always a great way to start the day.”

There was a pause before Malcolm spoke again. “Hey, you haven’t any government scum-fucks sniffing around Sam, have you?”

Jamie ran a hand through his sleep-mussed hair. ”I don’t think stupid enough to do that for fear of you coming after them with a rusty fork.” He paused, sending a mischevious grin in Sam’s direction. “Though, now that you mention it, I have seen Ollie Reader hanging around her a couple of different times recently.”

The look Sam shot him was so cold Jamie almost regretted saying it. Almost. 

“I will rip out his spine and shove it up his arse,” Malcolm promised. ”But I can’t imagine that there’s enough alcohol in the world to impair Sam’s judgment that badly.”

“I’m sure you’re right.” Jamie flinched and ducked out of the way of the pillow Sam threw in his direction.

There was silence on the other end for another moment. “On second thought, come with me for the bollocking session. I could use the back-up in case I need to deal with Ollie’s dead body.”

They arranged to meet and Jamie hung up the phone, shooting Sam a guilty smile. 

“What the hell was that?” Sam asked. “Besides the signing of Ollie’s death warrant, I mean.”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” Jamie said with a shrug. 

“Well, I’m glad you amused yourself at least,” Sam said, rolling her eyes. 

“The amusement is just starting, my dear. If I’m going to hav to spend the morning at fucking DoSAC’s World of Shit I might as well have something to look forward to.”

Sam tried to give him a stern look, but couldn’t quite hold it. ”Fine,” she said with a sigh as she finished getting dressed. But if anything happens, I’m not cleaning bloodstains out of the carpet. Not again.”


End file.
